Part of what I noticed from being sexually molested is the shame I felt. My molester convinced me it was all my fault. It took me a lot of therapy to realize that I did not cause this to happen, it was not my fault. Now I find that speaking out to groups about sexual molestation makes me feel stronger. Most kids feel they have to their abuse, but it is tremendously freeing to speak your truth and stand up to what you know is wrong. I am here, email me, together we become survivors who stop abuse.
One of the worst things that happens to you when you are sexually molested is that you lose your boundaries. Because this person takes so much advantage of you, you don’t learn how to set healthy limits with people. This is one of the things I am learning now as I receive therapy, I am learning how to set healthy boundaries. For me I am just learning to speak up and be clear about what does and doesn’t work; for instance, I will say “please don’t talk to me in that tone of voice, or please lower your voice,” if someone is yelling.
Another thing I am learning is how to find the little girl inside of me and accept that what my dad did to me is not my fault. It’s powerful learning to let my molestation be in the past as I move into a more empowered future.
Join me and become a survivor stopping abuse. ~Zoie
It’s not enough to be a victim who gets vocal and talks about abuse what I’m dedicated to is each sexual victim becoming a survivor who helps stop abuse. When you stand up and speak out, you add your voice and become a positive force. Together we can change the laws so that we extend the statue of limitations on molestation and require mandatory reporting of child abuse. Thank you for following my tweets and blog!
Having gone through a horrible sexual molestation that lasted over four years, it helped me to have psychotherapy and get my feelings out but I also suffered from trying to numb out my feelings. This is typical, I find, among victims of sexual abuse. A big part of my recovery has been letting myself feel angry, scared, and insecure. I find I used to use drugs to block any painful feelings but now that I no longer need the drug crutch, the little girl inside me is becoming free. I like letting my feelings come out and fall into place. Thank you for all your support!
Love from Zoie
You may not know it but this is Child Abuse Prevention Month and I feel honored to be able speak out and put a voice and a face on child molestation. Fox News did a California Central Coast story on me that showed my pain and discusses the pain of children who lose their childhood. I was very open about my situation and the frustration that children feel when nothing is done and their molesters walk free. The reporter showed pictures of my childhood and I spoke from my heart about my experience. Take a look and if you’re comfortable please share your experience with me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YgdXBuyyBs
I am very excited today, as one of the young people I am working with now in Ventura has seen her perpetrator pay for his crime. Sadly, she was molested by her step-father from the ages of 7 to 14. Fortunately, he was convicted and is serving a 22 year sentence inprison, and from there he is to go to a mental hospital – an entirely appropriate sentence for the sexual molestation of a child. I am relieved to see that not all perpetrators get away with their crime. Her victory gives me hope and presses me forward to reach out to more victims, helping them speak out and get the healing and justice they deserve.